Well, here we are. Officially in week six. This was the week I miscarried last time. So far, I feel pretty hopeful about this one. But I've had my hubs and my BFF to talk me down off the ledge a few times when unfamiliar pains come along and scare me.

I've never been so tired in my life. I feel like I don't want to do anything but sleep all day every day. And my digestive tract has never been so thrown for a loop in my life. It doesn't know what's going on and seems to be VERY verbal with its displeasure. So I'm trying to adjust. I'm just so thankful that I literally got pregnant the very last week of school so I have the entire summer to do nothing but relax and let my body do what it needs to do try to grow this baby. Still crossing my fingers and feeling slightly more hopeful. Thinking about making a doctor's appointment soon.

We shall see...

It's hard not to get my hopes up. Paying attention to every twinge and every tiny pain. Differentiating this pregnancy from the last one that failed. I've been pretty sick for a week and today I'm starting to feel better. I wasn't even sick a day last time. To me, being sick feels like a good sign, but in my brain, I know that every pregnancy is different and being sick doesn't make you any more or less pregnant.

I am super thankful to be feeling a little bit better today though. It does wonders for the attitude! And in this situation, I'll take all the help I can get!

So here we are. Two days into knowing I'm pregnant again. This is going to be a very interesting journey, no matter how long it lasts. I decided to tell a few people in my immediate family and a couple of very close friends this time, so as to not feel like we're going it alone. It feels important to have people to help talk me down this time...

And I'm realizing there's such a big difference in my own mind between being pregnant and having a baby. At this point, I wouldn't even dream of saying to myself, "I'm having a baby." Because I don't know that I am.  What I do know is that I am pregnant. And that's enough to work with right now.

Not feeling so hot, but I'm more than okay with that. Because if I feel sick, it means something's going on. And something going on is better than nothing going on. And that's all I've got at the moment...

June 19th

Today we got back from Mexico. I was sick most of the time we were there. At first I thought maybe I ate something bad. Or maybe it really WASN'T okay to drink the water at the resort. Then it all became clear.

The one month we actively AVOIDED trying to get pregnant, so as to not have to stress about it on vacation, it happened. Two tests confirmed it tonight.

Only time will tell if I'll be able to carry this pregnancy. Project Baby Cochran, take 2. My first instinct is to get my hopes up, but I'm not going to. There will be plenty of time for planning baby things in the months to come if it's to be. No need to rush into it right off the bat this time...