It's been about a month and a half since the miscarriage.  Things have gotten considerably easier, I guess.  Although I do feel like I'm still in limbo.  Will it or won't it happen?  Anybody's guess is as good as mine.  My family has been incredibly supportive.  Save 2 other people, they were the only ones who knew about the whole ordeal.  And the only reason they knew is because I was crying constantly and P thought I could use some more support.  And they've been great.  Mom and dad still call to check on me, and my sister called and told me to get on the plane, I was going to California with her for a long weekend.

So we spent a few days eating REALLY good food and drinking some REALLY expensive cocktails and getting REALLY relaxing massages.  It's safe to say it's just what I needed.  Some water time away from it all.  I feel slightly more hopeful at this point than I have in the last couple of months.  So that's good.

Funny story.  I was standing in line for the bathroom at school the other day (yes, we often have to do that, even as teachers) and a fellow teacher standing next to me said, "Ashly, I just figured you'd be working on at least your second baby by now!" 

I kind of stood there in disbelief for a few seconds and then said, "Really??"  And it was more of, Really??  You have the balls to say something like that to a grown woman you know nothing about?  So I figured, Hey.  If she's gonna ask it, guess what, I'm gonna answer it.

So I sighed really big and said, Well, we've been trying for a while now, but we're having difficulty.  I lost a baby last month and I really don't know if I'll ever be able to conceive again.  And if I do, who knows if I'll be able to carry it.  I very much want to have children, but I just don't know if it's a possibility for me.

Dark skin does get red when it gets embarrassed.  Her jaw dropped.  "I"m so sorry!" she said.  "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!"  She couldn't get much more out than that.  And it didn't really matter, it was my turn for the bathroom.  I went in, shut the door, and smiled.

So.  Lesson for the day.  Don't ask a grown, married woman why she doesn't have children unless you're fully prepared for the array of answers that could possibly come your way.