"It's going to be a good week." I spoke too soon.

I've never felt so out of control in my entire life. I think I have pregnancy induced congestion which has triggered my cluster headaches- headaches that feel like someone is stabbing you in the side of your brain right behind your eyeball with a very sharp knife for about thirty minutes, while your nose is stopped up, then it goes away and you can breathe again. I'm up to four a day so far- and that doesn't include the one or two that wake me up in the middle of the night. My body physically feels like it's falling apart, I'm not sleeping, and my hormones are in OVERDRIVE. It doesn't make for happy times. My anxiety level is at about a 1,000 over our doctor's appointment tomorrow. What's going to happen? Will there be a heartbeat? Will everything be okay? Am I even really pregnant? Maybe I'm just DYING.

I hate my brain. It never makes things easy for me. But thankfully I have the most amazing human being in the world for a husband. He took a break from studying last night and just sat with me in the living room and put his arm around me and let me cry for an hour or so while I spilled every fear I have about being pregnant and everything that goes with it.

I had a rather harrowing procedure done at the doctor's office about a year ago and P went with me to hold my hand. The doctor knows I'm pretty high strung about things that have to do with the OB/GYN situation and she was shocked- She looked at him and said, "It's amazing the calming effect you have on her." Which is why I'm SO thankful he'll be at the doctor's appointment tomorrow where the doctor will tell us if we, in fact, are about to become a family of three.