Here you come!
Hi, baby. Today is Monday, October 18th, 2010. I found out for the first time just a few hours ago that you are, in fact, growing in my belly. I think I still might be in a little bit of shock, but I really am excited. And hopeful. And anxious. And nervous as all get out! And oh-so-happy and thankful!
Your dad and I decided a couple of months ago that even though we didn't feel like we'd ever be fully ready to have a child (because how can you ever really prepare for that), that now was probably as good a time as any to start trying for you! And two months later, here you are- already growing and on your way.
Right off the bat, I want you to know that you were planned for and wanted and of course, already very much loved. Growing up you'll learn that sometimes you make some really bone-headed decisions that produce negative results in your life. But hopefully you'll learn that you can take something positive away from every negative situation, and you'll learn to make better decisions and you'll see the positive results in your life. I've made some bad decisions in my life, but I've also made some really, really good ones. The first good decision I made was to value my education and jump head first into college. I followed my passion and loved every minute of my college experience. I want that for you too. Education will help you become the best person you can be and will open doors you never dreamed imaginable. Secondly, another stellar decision I made was marrying your dad. He's shown me what unconditional love really is. And he's constantly pushing me to do more, be more, and follow my dreams. He's probably the most unselfish person I've ever met. He pursues his dreams passionately and also encourages me to do the same. He'll do the same thing with you. So just expect it. And it's my decision to marry your dad that has led me to this moment, where I'm committing to you.
I've never done this mom thing before, but I promise you I will do the absolute best job humanly possibly for me to do. I know it's not always going to be easy (for both of us), but I want you to know that even from two days ago, when I first felt you physically attach to my body-- yes, I knew the exact moment it happened-- I loved you for exactly who you are going to be. I'm going to do everything possible to make our home a safe place for you. Not just physically but mentally and emotionally. I want you to know that I want home to be your soft place to fall. Where you can be specifically the person you are and want to be. I want to guide you in the right direction, and of course, I'll always hope you make good decisions. But when you don't, please know that no matter what, I will still love you. I will still be your mom. And you will still have a soft place to fall.
So we're doing this together. You're gonna be new at life and I'm gonna be new at being your mom. I'm ready to learn. And you're going to do just great. I know it. :)
Love,
Mom
(I'm thinking I'll get used to calling myself that some time in the future.)
